I’ve already forgotten how it feels like to stroll nonchalantly in a mall. In fact, I can’t even recall when was the last time I entered a mall without papers to think and readings waiting to be finished. This afternoon, I tried to relive those carefree days once more. Actually, I did have an agenda but besides paying our apartment’s phone bill, the day was actually stress-free and the afternoon’s long enough to be spent bumming at home so I decided going to the nearby mall is the best way to kill the time. As if it wasn’t much of a temptation, I uncovered an unused gift cheque my mom gave me more than a couple of weeks ago hidden in all those stacks of paper. I used to be a real shopaholic. Armed with my mother’s credit card, I used to buy things that I wanted (but don’t really need) the moment I lay my eyes on them and find them cute. I’ve since changed when one morning I accidentally peeked into a billing statement and got guilty of how much money I’ve been spending on unwanted stuff. That’s when I started budgeting and planning how I spend my money - or rather my mother’s. I still go on binge shopping though, especially when I’m mad or down in the dumps but I’ve been more careful about things that I buy. Never did I imagine though that all those cutting costs I’ve been doing in the last year would make me a thrift shopper ‘coz I found myself actually spending more than an hour thinking of what to buy with the gift cheque I had in hand. If it was a year ago, I’d walk happily away with a new pair of bikinis especially since we’re going on a swimming trip on Sunday but right after I spotted a good pair, I started to think twice and asked myself if I really badly needed a new one. It’s not as if the place we’re going to is a beach where people would care less of what you’re wearing but a pool, and a public one at that could have eyes that are more judgemental and harsher regardless whether you were the one in the proper attire or not. To cut the story short, I didn’t buy the bikini and opted for make up and a cover-alls instead. I know, they don’t exactly sound like i need them badly but at least they’re a little towards the positive end of the “usefulness” spectrum than an overpriced swimwear. So once again, my mind won over my heart. I went home so happy and contented that I even made an entry proclaiming to the world my victory over another needless spending…

*silence*

Or probably not. *sigh*

My roommate and I have this rather embarrassing ritual every night. In the midst of the flurry of finishing patient papers, reading required book chapters and reviewing for exams, we make sure that a good 45 minutes of nighttime is spent watching this local tv drama being shown on air. The fast-paced storyline, infamous quotable quotes and the high fashion wardrobes of Scarlett and Katherine which can rival those by the likes of Oscar de la Renta have definitely kept us glued to our seats. But after finishing another episode today, the lingering distaste to watch the series further has become more pronounced so to speak. Inasmuch as I still like the fact that the fast-pace of the story makes every episode unexpected, this whole drama of I’m-on-top-now-later-I’m-at-the-bottom-again has been played over and over again that soon, you’ll just realize how stupid things have been happening lately for our poor heroine. I am not exactly a fan of martyr heroines, but sometimes I wonder when this revenge-or-shit wheel would finally stop turning and set things the way they’re supposed to be for the longer time being. I know dramas are supposed to be this way to live up to their genre, but then, can you really be that unfortunate in the first place? It’s pitiful how us, televiewers, are being taken for a ride. Seems like our intelligence is being put to test as well.