Ironic as it is, I’m rotating in Dermatology just when I am at my ugliest. I’m breaking out all over and I don’t know where these zits are coming from. I’m not nearing that “time of the month” nor am I under any stress whatsoever yet they keep on sprouting in places I don’t want them to be. Makes me feel as if my hormones and my skin are ganging up against me especially now when it’s two weeks short until my cousin’s wedding. This is absolutely crazy. I wonder if there’s any overnight zit zapper or foolproof treatment for acne that I can use to put an end to my woes… and my ugliness.

*darn*

It’s the fourth week of our idyllic community life here in Cabiao Nueva Ecija. Soon, we will be back to the bustling world we left in Manila where STAT calls and Code Reds are not so new. My first two weeks in July will be spent mostly in the Operating Room making sure that our patients are at their most comfortable while undergoing a stressful operation. Yep. I decided to take Anesthesiology for my surgical elective. I am not exactly the type who’d end up to be an anesthesiologist but for the lack of other more favorable choices for me, I chose it over Urology. However, hearing the stories of my batchmates who already had their electives in Urology, a voice inside me is telling me how I’d be missing out on all the fun while I keep my fingers crossed that I won’t be needing an AED like the ones sold at Philips Heartstart Onsite in that whole two weeks. But for my (and everyone else’s peace of mind), there has never been a time when an operation went awry because of a botched up anesthesiology work so at least I find comfort in that thought.

My roommate Mela had a grand time in Anes but that was because she was considering taking that up as a specialty. As for me on the other hand, I cannot see myself making patients sleep my whole life so I am having second thoughts about my choice. But heck, as if I can do something about it now. Perhaps I’ll just have to enjoy myself and go with the flow.

Inasmuch as I would have wanted to update any of my blogs regarding the goings on in my life. I found that it’s just not that too possible to insert blogging in my heavy schedule unlike what I imagined. Although sometimes I find myself with nothing to do, I couldn’t muster enough courage to actually do some blogging - or even bloghopping for that matter - while I am stuck at the Pediatric Unit.

Anyway, just another week to go and I’m done with my first department for clerkship. It saddens me to be away from these children no matter how sick they are. Rotating in Pedia made me realize how much I am attached to these kids - well and sick alike. My desire to be a Pediatrician was intensified but this is not to say that I am no longer considering other options anymore. What my seniors have been saying is true. That most of you would get your true calling once you’ve stepped out of the comforts of the classroom and see sick patients with your own eyes. Duty days have been harder for me in the last couple of 24-hour duties I’ve had. There was a reshuffling of our schedules and I ended up being with two interns instead of an intern and another clerk and then just recently one of them, an extern, (interns not coming from SLCM) quit the internship program at our hospital. Now, it’s just the two of us; making work a lot more challenging than for us than before. I rarely go out these days since clerkship started and if I ever get a chance to step out of the house, it’s always to the nearest mall where I’d frequent beauty stores, surplus shops and specialty shops for my everyday needs. My shopping habits have been altered in a way as well. I shop less of clothes now and more of make-up goodies since there are less chances of me going out to have fun. At least having a complete stash of make-up in my bag would help me look fresh even if I hardly had any sleep.

I used to think that there’s no way I’d think twice about going to medicine but the heart-to-heart talks I’ve had with a bunch of friends and the responsibilities that come with being a clerk that I’ve come to realize both helped in bursting my bubble. What the doctors have been saying are true. This is indeed a very tiring profession that requires not just a heart but the endurance to boot. I know I have the heart for this but my health, as I’ve noticed in the past two months has been a hindrance for me to do my work as perfectly as I want them. It sucks really…

I can’t believe how fast time flies. It sure feels like it was only yesterday when I turned 20+ and now, I’ve just recently added another year to my age. When I look back to the year that was, I can’t say I’ve accomplished much. I mean, compare me to my colleagues and it seems like I was stuck in the middle of then and tomorrow while they’ve all moved forward to make their lives better. Just more than a month ago, Pauee left for Singapore and will soon start her way to her first million. I on the other hand, remains to be a struggling medical student. I don’t really mind it much since I’m well surrounded by people who are in the same plight as I do. Hehe.

I have mixed feelings about turning a year older. At its most superficial, I don’t want to grow up! It scares me to know that a few years from now I’ll be the one worrying about all those “grown up” stuff that give my parents a headache. Yesterday while on our way to UP Manila, my groupmate Ria and I talked about how we both felt like we are still “babies”. And we both agreed how we wanted to remain forever this way but alas, as the clock ticks, we know that the time will come when there’s no more turning back. And then there’s also the fact that I’ll be saying goodbye to my so-called social life when April comes. Oh dear. Am I ready to face the real world? If you’re to ask me, I’d rather wonder what Amazon books to buy than wonder what’s the diagnosis of my next patient is. =P

I know you’ve had enough of my rants but I’m here to dish out more! *evil laughter*

I am so unmotivated to study now even if I have three exams tomorrow and I’m just halfway through studying for my first exam. It’s really frustrating both because I want to study and I don’t want to at the same time. Yes. It’s a schizophrenic kind of thing. LOL.

I miss being in the comforts of my own home. Living away alone can sometimes make you feel depressed. No wonder why my brother who’s gonna be a college freshman *gasp* in 2010 didn’t want to stay in a dormitory. He probably has foreseen how it can be really sad to live alone. I have been living away for a good three years but I haven’t gotten used to it. Perhaps I won’t at all.

I wish I could just go up to my mom and sleep beside her in that homey room of hers with Bamboo shades.

I was supposed to make a review regarding a new product that I recently discovered and tried. It’s a “cold waxing kit” that goes by the name “No Hair Wax Kit” by JTomas Solutions. Actually, it’s not the same cold wax that waxing salons like LayBare use. Instead, it actually uses sugar to remove unwanted hair (hence, sugaring is the more appropriate term ). But since it’s 11:50 pm already and I’m already drowsy, I’d probably do that next time along with an acne treatment review. Oh well. I’ll sleep for now.