My laptop’s having problems again. After having been soldered thrice, my laptop’s plug socket is not working as perfectly as it should be again. I’m so sick and tired of it. I cannot bring my laptop anywhere anymore. It has to stay in one place – untouched – so that I could work. I hate this. I’m looking forward to buying a new laptop soon but I don’t have enough moolah to finance my selfishness. Aside from an energy efficient laptop, a new DSLR and a cameraphone also top my list. Sometimes, I hate being a student because it makes me really dependent on my parents for my finances and at this age, it’s quite embarrassing already, but most of the time, it’s such a joy to be a student especially if there’s suspension of classes or school breaks like during the Holidays and summer. But soon, things will be different for me as I finally grace the halls of the hospital and run errands for all my seniors.

I wonder if I’m really that capable already to be working in a hospital. Almost three years after I entered medical school, I sometimes doubt if the knowledge I’ve gathered is enough to at least let me finish clerkship. But as my seniors always remind us, it’s never enough – at least – in this field that we have chosen. Such toxicity. Tsk.

I’ve been waking up extra early in the past couple of days to hear “Simbang Gabi” or “Misa de Gallo (Mass of the Roosters)”. It’s a Filipino Christmas tradition of hearing mass for nine mornings before Christmas in preparation for the birth of Jesus Christ. Originally, Misa de Gallo is held before sunrise but most Catholic churches now hold anticipated masses at 8 or 9 pm to make it more convenient to churchgoers. I’ve never been a fan of waking up extra early to hear mass but I was enticed to join my friends in hearing early dawn masses this Christmas like I’ve been doing so in the last two mornings – until today. Sadly, I missed the dawn mass. I forgot to put my phone on alarm mode when I went to bed last night. When I woke up it was already past 5 am. I feel sad not because my wish won’t be granted anymore since I missed a mass (it’s common belief that if you complete all 9 mornings, a wish will come true) but more so because I feel like I’ve let myself and Kuya Jess down. Anyway, I guess I’m not really destined to finish all nine morning masses for 2008. (And truthfully, I’ve never even completed one) Perhaps, next year? I hope so. So for those who are still able to wake up extra early in the next six days to hear mass, I wish you luck. Bring emergency lights if you can. You’ll never know when you’re gonna need it.

Happy Holidays Everyone!

It’s cram time once again and I’m nearing (if not already) in a state of panic. I accumulated a lot of backlogs in readings because of those stupid papers we had to pass for each of our subjects. It’s just so crazy. Last week, I didn’t have a weeknight that I wasn’t doing any paper. This is uber-crazy indeed.

So it’s almost 3 am and I haven’t slept. Not that I can make myself sleep. When I feel all panicky, I get restless and hyper and I don’t get as much sleep as I have to. Besides, I’m still supposed to blog about personalized books. But I can’t seem to rack my brains out. Pffft.

Anyway, I’m thinking about doing a major revamp of this blog. I dunno. I’d probably start doing that next week – that is if I finally manage to have the time after the exams. Whew.

Since it’s just a few weeks before Christmas, I bet people are flocking to the malls (especially when they’re on sale) to buy Christmas presents for their loved ones. Just recently, the Trinoma mall held its very first mallwide sale. I purposely shied away from that mall on the dates they were on sale. I just know how I wouldn’t be able to stand the traffic and the crowd. Apparently, my hunches were right as I heard from the radio review of the traffic last Sunday that the whole stretch of Quezon Ave. to North Ave. was bumper-to-bumper. When Bryan and I met last Friday, he was supposed to drive ourselves to Trinoma for dinner – until I begged him not to (or else, we would have ended up ketotic in that traffic. )

I get psyched up when I do my Christmas shopping. I’ve been giving presents to my family no matter how big or small since 2nd grade and it’s so often that I end up clueless as to what to give them for the holidays since I’ve already ran out of ideas. Just a few weeks ago, I chanced upon a branch of Regalong Pambahay at SM Southmall and was amazed at all the good stuff they’re hiding in there. I know – it’s not as if the store is new, it’s just that I’ve always associated that store with mommies looking for gifts for their kumares. LOL. But now, I’ve figured how the age group I belong to is slowly entering that stage. In fact I have a handful of people I personally know who have already started building their families (Dana, are you reading this? ) Just to make things clear though! I’m not getting envious alright! It’s just that maybe I should include useful – and of course – pretty household items in my shopping list (I usually get them personal stuff, you see). Take this for example which will be perfect for my mom’s newly repainted modern bedroom:

Since the stuff I still have to do before Christmas remains to be up to my neck to this day (which reminds me of the paper I am supposed to be editing now), I’d probably be just contented at the moment listing down gift ideas or frequenting online stores instead of wasting my time at the malls. Argh. Med school is the biggest grinch of Christmas. So, you think I’d be able to finish my gift shopping on time? Only God knows. LOL.

I’m alone. My roommate went home and isn’t coming back until tomorrow morning. While I was surfing the web, something flew over my head and landed on the garbage bin near me. My instinct of course was to spray some insect killer but there was no movement – nothing! The mystery flying thing is gone and it’s getting me all paranoid. Every unfamiliar sound that I hear inside the room that doesn’t come from the television makes me look over every now and then. I can’t help it. After that night when a total of nine – NINE! – flying roaches attacked Mela and I all evening, I’ve somehow developed an extra sense for detecting flying cockroaches. I wish Mela’s here so she could warn me of roaches behind me before they land on my head. Oh horrors. This is a lot worse than Hotel626.

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Need added memory? Grab a memory stick here. 

I’ve already forgotten how it feels like to stroll nonchalantly in a mall. In fact, I can’t even recall when was the last time I entered a mall without papers to think and readings waiting to be finished. This afternoon, I tried to relive those carefree days once more. Actually, I did have an agenda but besides paying our apartment’s phone bill, the day was actually stress-free and the afternoon’s long enough to be spent bumming at home so I decided going to the nearby mall is the best way to kill the time. As if it wasn’t much of a temptation, I uncovered an unused gift cheque my mom gave me more than a couple of weeks ago hidden in all those stacks of paper. I used to be a real shopaholic. Armed with my mother’s credit card, I used to buy things that I wanted (but don’t really need) the moment I lay my eyes on them and find them cute. I’ve since changed when one morning I accidentally peeked into a billing statement and got guilty of how much money I’ve been spending on unwanted stuff. That’s when I started budgeting and planning how I spend my money – or rather my mother’s. I still go on binge shopping though, especially when I’m mad or down in the dumps but I’ve been more careful about things that I buy. Never did I imagine though that all those cutting costs I’ve been doing in the last year would make me a thrift shopper ‘coz I found myself actually spending more than an hour thinking of what to buy with the gift cheque I had in hand. If it was a year ago, I’d walk happily away with a new pair of bikinis especially since we’re going on a swimming trip on Sunday but right after I spotted a good pair, I started to think twice and asked myself if I really badly needed a new one. It’s not as if the place we’re going to is a beach where people would care less of what you’re wearing but a pool, and a public one at that could have eyes that are more judgemental and harsher regardless whether you were the one in the proper attire or not. To cut the story short, I didn’t buy the bikini and opted for make up and a cover-alls instead. I know, they don’t exactly sound like i need them badly but at least they’re a little towards the positive end of the “usefulness” spectrum than an overpriced swimwear. So once again, my mind won over my heart. I went home so happy and contented that I even made an entry proclaiming to the world my victory over another needless spending…

*silence*

Or probably not. *sigh*