So that’s why they called it “residency”… it meant you’ll be living in the hospital for a good number of years tending to patients of various shapes, sizes and cases. I just got home a good 30 minutes ago and I so badly want to rest my head on a heated mattress pad and relax a bit after spending more than the required time in the hospital today. I can’t believe I’ve gone through so much in just two days of residency training. My head hurts so much and I am not liking it. It saddens me that I’ll be living like this for the rest of the next three years. *sob*

Seems like it was only yesterday when I started internship, now I’m nearing the last 6-week long stretch of it. I wonder if I’ll survive this chaos. There’s the comprehensive exam and the every-3 days duty on top of all the papers we need to finish for Medicine. Gah. I haven’t studied as much as I need to. I’m partly to be blamed for that though but what the heck. There’s no use crying over spilled milk. I have to study as much as I can in the little time I have left if I want to graduate on time, get into residency on time and have enough moolah to buy myself that dream house of mine filled with all the modern furniture I am dreaming of. Ack. I can do this.

The natural calamities are coming one after the other. It’s getting really scary especially since there’s also political turmoil going on in some countries in the Middle East. Makes one think, is it really the end of the world already? I hope not ‘coz I just spent my entire life studying to become a doctor.

Kidding aside, let’s all pray for our brothers and sisters in Japan who are facing one of the toughest challenges in their lives right now. A lot of people lost their lives and their livelihood. The survivors aren’t spared either since they’re faced with lack of food, medicines and supplies in Japan. Have you seen the videos? It’s really quite horrendous. Apocalyptic even. I can’t imagine the horror our Japanese brothers and sisters are all facing right now. So before we all sleep in our comfortable mattresses tonight, let’s keep them in our prayers regardless of what religion we believe or belong in. After all, we’re nothing compared to the One mightier than us.

Hugs to all.

The ENT boys call me Britney. Short for Toxic.

It all started when one fine duty night as a clerk, I received a call from the ER looking for the ENT resident. Apparently, there was a referral from ER for a STAT cricotracheostomy. How often does a STAT tracheostomy happen in the ER of such a posh hospital?! Fast forward to the next day, on a “from duty” status, my ENT resident assigned me to assist in another tracheostomy tube insertion. It didn’t bother me at all. After all, with a good consultant, a tracheostomy will just be a breeze. I should have just kept my mouth shut. We ended the very bloody tracheostomy two hours and thirty minutes later. We still hold the record for the longest tracheostomy ever in that hospital. And, they never assigned me to a tracheostomy again.

Still fast forward to 2011, I find myself still awake at 2 am, blogging about my toxicity while finishing a rush lecture for the kids at the ABS-CBN outreach mission on Sunday. I’ve been in and out of the sleep-wake cycle countless of times since I sat in front of my laptop. I can’t help it. Last night, I was also up and about while finishing a different lecture on diarrhea which I delivered this afternoon. *sigh*

I look at my eyebags and see how horrendous they look. Not just my eyebags but everything about me in general. I look like a dried up prune in bad need of vitamins. That’s what toxic is to me. Someone, just keep me out of the toxicity, will you?

A few nights ago (Thursday night to be exact), my friend Mela and I were quietly having dinner at the Burger King joint along E. Rodriguez when suddenly an orange T-shirt-clad homeless man appeared from nowhere beside me and asked for my burger. Uncannily, he was asking for MY burger from Mela who was seated almost across mine. All through that time, he didn’t look at me despite the fact that the unopened burger was right in front of me. He was talking to Mela – pleading for the burger and Mela was telling him he can’t have it for two reasons: 1) it wasn’t hers; and 2) I haven’t eaten anything myself. It was about a minute or so when the man suddenly picked up the burger from my tray despite Mela telling him not to. Now there are two issues here: restaurant security and hunger.

Perhaps he was very hungry for him to do such a thing. I pity him for that. But if he had just waited for me to speak (which he didn’t), I would have gladly given him my burger instead of him getting it from my tray without regard. I firmly believe that poverty is never, ever an excuse not to act like a normal human being would.

And for the fast food chain’s security? WHERE THE HELL WAS IT WHEN WE NEEDED IT???? He could have been a goon pretending to be a hungry, homeless man. He could have gotten our laptops, wallets, apple iphone or other valuables. We would have been helpless if he had any weapons with him. How could have he gotten past the security? Oh. I remember. That time, there was NO SECURITY GUARD, NO MANAGER AND NO FAST FOOD PERSONNEL IN SIGHT. Where were they? Mela found them huddling together at the counter, busily talking amongst themselves. It took Mela’s angry complaints about the stranger getting our food from our table before they even realized what happened. And their reaction? Good heavens. The manager went up to the homeless man to accost him. What a sensible thing to do! What if he was armed or what if he was with armed company? They could have attacked the poor, helpless manager. I couldn’t also commend them for their reaction to what happened. After blurting a unempathic “sorry” from one of their staff, they delivered a new burger for my consumption. I guess, it would have been appropriate if one of the managers approached us to ask what happened and apologize appropriately. Talk about good customer service right?

We’ve long put behind us what happened the other night in high hopes that it would never happen again to us or to another customer in the future. I sure wish there wouldn’t be any lapses in their part ever again. Imagine if it were a bunch of crooks who entered that joint that night and announced a hold up? Oh geez. I wouldn’t want to live one of my worst nightmares.

I am so close to crying. I broke out after I started my glycolic peel treatment recently. You see, for glycolic peel to work its wonders, you have to peel religiously – something which I have not done regularly despite having my own peeling set at the comforts of my own home. What I did to save money was to buy a peeling set then just have my facial cleaning treatment done after at my favorite facial spa to prevent major breakouts – again, something which I failed to do last week. Now, I’m suffering from these huge zits all over. I really badly want to cry now. :’( We’ll be having our pictorial for the yearbook two weeks from now and no can I face those high-end digital cameras aka DSLRs in this mess. Wah. What to do? What to do? :’(