Sunday February 21st, 2010 04:59 Letting Go

I was browsing through my albums and saw this picture. This was taken on my 24th birthday last year. Little did I know, this was to be the last birthday I was to celebrate with them. You see, since we started med school, it’s been our tradition to celebrate each others’ birthdays. This year was an exception because they were rotating in Cabiao, Nueva Ecija on my birth month. But I never thought it would be more than exceptional.

They called me up on the night of February 2, 2010. They were shouting at the other end of the line – obviously ecstatic by the newfound freedom that community medicine has to offer. It was a lonely night for me but we did promise each other that when we all get a weekend off, we’d celebrate my birthday like we did the previous years. How could have I known that it will never happen?

Yesterday afternoon, I went to see Jessa for the last time before we leave her ashes in her final resting place. Their family’s mausoleum is nothing extraordinary. No outdoor furniture or decors save for the image of Jesus Christ atop Jessa’s urn box. I broke down into uncontrollable fit of tears when I saw her tomb marker with the name “JESSA R. PEREZ” on it. Oh yes. I am used to seeing her name all over the place: in the books she owned, in her nameplate, in her school and hospital ID… even printed on the attendance sheet we pass around in class back at the college of med. But not engraved in that black slab of shiny marble for everyone to see. The tombstone made her death and Jen’s even more real to me.

Jen, Jessa, now that we’ve both laid you to rest, it’s time for me to let you go and move on with my life to continue this journey that we started together four years ago on Jessa’s birthday. I will never forget you nor the memories I made with you. Rest in peace dearest Jen, Jessa. I will always love you.

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