I tipped the scale at 100 lbs - or so says the weighing scale in school. If it were any other girl trying to lose weight, she would have jumped with glee with that figure. But, I am no ordinary girl and I’m not even close to feeling overjoyed with that.

You see, the scale I used to measure myself is actually an obesity scale masquerading as a weighing scale because it adds 5 lbs to everyone’s actual weight. When I first tried weighing myself in and saw the pointer at 100 lbs, I was so happy, well, not until my roommate told me how this obesity scale adds 5 lbs to your real weight. At my height, tipping the scale at 100 lbs is just the exact weight one needs to get that normal BMI. A pound lower than a hundred and it’s already considered underweight - a problem that I’ve been struggling with since time immemorial.

A lot of girls envy me because I don’t have to watch out what goes into my mouth. I can literally stuff myself with all the junk foods and chocolates I could lay my hands on and not feel any tinge of guilt at all. Nay, I am not at risk for having bulimia nervosa. Heck, I don’t even have to spend a cent for diet pills such as Phentermine just so I would fit in those size 0 clothes. What most girls don’t know is that girls like me born to have an ectomorph body type face the same insecurities that girls on the other end of the scale do. Like them, we also want to have a better body frame; a more lean and healthier physique.

In 2006, I discovered an appetite stimulant that boosted my appetite to its maximum. Soon, I found myself eating almost non-stop and a month later, everyone noticed the new, heavier and happier “me”. I finally reached my 100-lb target. Of course, I had to stop taking the appetite booster once I reached a hundred because I didn’t want to grow so big that I’d go on a crash diet. At the same time, though, I vowed to myself that never again will I go back to my old, ugly, skinny self. However, a classmate caught my attention a few days ago and commented on how I’m starting to get thinner and thinner by the day. It set off the alarm bells to ring. He didn’t have to say it out loud because I could feel the chubbiness of my cheeks literally fading into oblivion as days go by. I knew I had to start a weight-gain regimen soon, else, I might wake up one morning and find myself back to square one. For the last few weeks, I’ve been on and off the weight-gain pills that I fondly call “Ling” (if you can understand Filipino, I even made an entry about “Ling” in my Filipino blog). Because of the effects of this stimulant, I always get hungry so that I am always munching on something at any time of the day. But you see, I don’t really know if what I’m taking in now is more than enough for me to pack on some pounds especially since the stress of medical school is soon taking its toll on me and it worries me that I might have to take it longer now. “Ling” took one month to produce the much desired results in 2006. I wonder though how long it’ll take “Ling” to transform me back into this cuter-looking me some two years later:

Hmmmm…