Today is April 7, 2008.
Three months ago, I chose to live my life with someone. He came into my life and filled it with so much happiness all unexpectedly. He caught me off guard just when I lowered down my defenses and today, we celebrate our third month as a couple.
Sadly though, I didn’t expect the day to turn out this way:
Depressing.
Frustrating.
Disappointing.
Being the pathetically romantic and lovestruck girl that I am, I was looking forward to this day with so much eagerness. For days, I had been conjuring in my head the words that can best sum up how strongly I feel for him for a blog entry I was intending to let him read. He is, after all, the guy who can make me laugh when I feel like crying, the guy who’s always there to give me the push when I need it, the guy who’s always there behind me 100%, the guy I terribly miss each and every single time we’re not together and the guy I’d want to spend my life with if the clock decides to stop ticking.
There’s no doubt about how much I love Bee.
So there’s nothing more depressing, frustrating or disappointing if the guy you love conveniently forgets about the special day you got together.
Three months is no big deal for some people. It is just after all, three months. A very young love indeed. But that’s exactly the reason why I’m sulking in my little corner. At this stage, we’re supposed to be still very giddy about the milestones that our relationship marks - first summer outing, first birthday, first Christmas, first meeting with the parents - throw in all those firsts in that basket and you have that point in the relationship when everything around is nothing but rosy and red. Indeed, what else can cap off the honeymoon basket other than the first anniversary? From experience, and that of my friends, every month of the journey to that first anniversary is worth remembering, if not celebrating. I had not been used to so much extravagance in my life so a full-blown celebration of the milestones to that first anniversary is more of an option than a must. In fact, I don’t even require us to spend time together on that special day. A simple “Happy ___ month” greeting, even in txt 4mat (which so happens to be one of my pet peeves), is enough to make me happy and plaster a smile on my face for me to show off the whole day.
I got home badly tired from the overnight out-of-town trip with my family but I managed to log in to my yahoo messenger and have a chat with Bee. It was thirty-minutes before 12 am. Since I cannot be with him on this day, I figured that just chatting with him and being with him online is good enough for me. I jokingly commented how it was already midnight when the clock finally struck twelve to subtly remind him that it was April 7, then I waited. Waited. And waited. Fifteen minutes later and a good number of messages after, there was no sign from him that he was actually aware of the date. At that instant, I felt as if my heart’s being clenched and shattered into little, tiny pieces.
Bee forgot. Again.
In the span of three months of being together, Bee has forgotten our ‘monthsary’ twice. The first being *gasp* on our first month. He was forgiven after he rushed to our apartment that day when he learned about his major boo-boo. On the second month, he made sure he was the first one to greet between the two of us. I thought he has finally learned the ropes and kept in mind the must-dos of a relationship but after what has happened today, I guess it’s between waiting for him to finally get things right or just getting used to the fact that my boyfriend is one of those XYs troubled with selective amnesia. Bee did remember why today was extra special after a change in ‘tone’ and a sudden shift of moods transpired on my part. I told him I was okay and to forget about what happened, but truth be told, I am not okay and not even close to forgetting about it. I shed tears and I feel like my heart is being squeezed when I remember how frustrated and disappointed I am with him today. We’re supposed to be seeing each other on Tuesday, a good ten days since we were together but at this moment, I don’t feel like pushing through with it at all. I feel like acting like a kid spoiled rotten and sulk in my corner while wallowing in my disappointment. I don’t want to see Bee no matter how much I missed him these past few days. At this point, my disappointment of him outweighs that part of me who misses him by probably more than a hundred pounds.
I know nobody’s perfect and I am bound to forget dates someday, but at this point, I wish my boyfriend’s imperfection would have been something else other than this.