When the clock ticks 12mn, the end has come… my rotation in Cabiao, that is! I’ll be officially back to my world after a month-long vacation - err - community rotation. I ain’t ready yet if you’re gonna ask me. It feels like it’s first day of clerkship all over again. But then, I should be really thankful since I’ll be rotating in Anesthesiology where it’s less toxic compared to Surgery where the workload beats the world’s bests diet pills around. Oh yes. But come August I’ll be dreading duty days once again.

Tonight marked my first dinner alone after almost one month. I already got used to sharing the table with four other girls. Although we didn’t have to beat each other for food, mealtimes with them was livelier and more comfortable than eating a cold meal alone. While I was having my dinner, I suddenly felt like crying. It’s only been hours since we parted ways but I already miss them: Jacy and her squeals when we start talking about scary shit; Ria and her silk and very revealing sleepwear; Pau and her camera that’s with her almost 24/7 and most memorably Christianne and her mouth-watering dishes! Gah. Eating alone makes me lose my appetite no matter how delicious my food is. *sigh* I know I’ll be thinking of Cabiao for a long, long time.

From clockwise:

Me, Christianne (standing), Jacy, Ria, Pau: The Power Five!

It’s a tiring week filled with preparations for the seminar and finally wrapping it up yesterday. We thought no one would come but lo and behold were more than 30 people who were interested enough to listen to what we had to say… and that was despite the intermittent rains.

It’s heartwarming how people in the rural towns are so helpful even if we are not exactly one of them. Each lent a helping hand to us poor medical clerks in any way that they can: men helping with the chairs, carrying them themselves so that us girls don’t have to do it ourselves, while the women helped out in distributing the food we prepared plus tidying up the place after. The “bayanihan” they exhibited is very envious. Such display of cooperativeness is rarely seen in the city… at least among complete strangers. No wonder a lot of foreigners who visit rural areas fall in love with the people.

After a hard day’s work, we chilled out and enjoyed a good movie in our “private theater” right here inside room. We rented lcd monitor yesterday and we figured it would be such a waste not to make use of it after the seminar. It cost us 2K anyway!!! Anyway, I wish had one of these fascinating gadgets at home. I wonder if dad’s willing to shell out for one.

It’s the fourth week of our idyllic community life here in Cabiao Nueva Ecija. Soon, we will be back to the bustling world we left in Manila where STAT calls and Code Reds are not so new. My first two weeks in July will be spent mostly in the Operating Room making sure that our patients are at their most comfortable while undergoing a stressful operation. Yep. I decided to take Anesthesiology for my surgical elective. I am not exactly the type who’d end up to be an anesthesiologist but for the lack of other more favorable choices for me, I chose it over Urology. However, hearing the stories of my batchmates who already had their electives in Urology, a voice inside me is telling me how I’d be missing out on all the fun while I keep my fingers crossed that I won’t be needing an AED like the ones sold at Philips Heartstart Onsite in that whole two weeks. But for my (and everyone else’s peace of mind), there has never been a time when an operation went awry because of a botched up anesthesiology work so at least I find comfort in that thought.

My roommate Mela had a grand time in Anes but that was because she was considering taking that up as a specialty. As for me on the other hand, I cannot see myself making patients sleep my whole life so I am having second thoughts about my choice. But heck, as if I can do something about it now. Perhaps I’ll just have to enjoy myself and go with the flow.

This is undoubtedly the best weekend I’ve ever had. I went out to pamper myself: name it, I’ve done it! I’ve never had a lot of fun in the last couple of weeks. I was out and about town meeting friends, attending parties, going to the movies, drinking, dancing and just being happy. I felt free. Like I had nothing to care about in the world. I’ve lost count on how many times I’ve said how I missed this kind of life. I’m so happy that I’m almost crying and I don’t want to go back to being a medical clerk ever again. This is really the most exciting long weekend I’ve ever had. Really.

At least in my dreams.

In real life, I just wasted away my time at home in front of my laptop. I didn’t even go out to burn time in the mall to watch a movie or perhaps dine out. I didn’t get to have my nails done, what more get a relaxing Swedish massage. I didn’t get to see any of my friends. There were no parties to attend, no music to dance to and no booze to infuse my system with. In fact I bet I need some sort of immune system boosters since I’ve caught another bug and is suffering now from a sore throat and that occasional cough.

I’ve wasted such a great long weekend. And my only hope to make this perfect, that is seeing Bee for the first and last time this week, ended up in smoke just a few minutes ago when he told me he couldn’t see me.

What an absolutely great weekend isn’t it?

Inasmuch as I would have wanted to update any of my blogs regarding the goings on in my life. I found that it’s just not that too possible to insert blogging in my heavy schedule unlike what I imagined. Although sometimes I find myself with nothing to do, I couldn’t muster enough courage to actually do some blogging - or even bloghopping for that matter - while I am stuck at the Pediatric Unit.

Anyway, just another week to go and I’m done with my first department for clerkship. It saddens me to be away from these children no matter how sick they are. Rotating in Pedia made me realize how much I am attached to these kids - well and sick alike. My desire to be a Pediatrician was intensified but this is not to say that I am no longer considering other options anymore. What my seniors have been saying is true. That most of you would get your true calling once you’ve stepped out of the comforts of the classroom and see sick patients with your own eyes. Duty days have been harder for me in the last couple of 24-hour duties I’ve had. There was a reshuffling of our schedules and I ended up being with two interns instead of an intern and another clerk and then just recently one of them, an extern, (interns not coming from SLCM) quit the internship program at our hospital. Now, it’s just the two of us; making work a lot more challenging than for us than before. I rarely go out these days since clerkship started and if I ever get a chance to step out of the house, it’s always to the nearest mall where I’d frequent beauty stores, surplus shops and specialty shops for my everyday needs. My shopping habits have been altered in a way as well. I shop less of clothes now and more of make-up goodies since there are less chances of me going out to have fun. At least having a complete stash of make-up in my bag would help me look fresh even if I hardly had any sleep.

I used to think that there’s no way I’d think twice about going to medicine but the heart-to-heart talks I’ve had with a bunch of friends and the responsibilities that come with being a clerk that I’ve come to realize both helped in bursting my bubble. What the doctors have been saying are true. This is indeed a very tiring profession that requires not just a heart but the endurance to boot. I know I have the heart for this but my health, as I’ve noticed in the past two months has been a hindrance for me to do my work as perfectly as I want them. It sucks really…

Who needs weight loss pills when there’s clerkship? Exactly a month after I started my fourth year in med school, not just a few people have pointed out how I’ve been continuously losing weight. I, myself, have noticed how my once body-hugging uniforms now hang weightlessly from my body. The last time I checked, I’m 6 lbs shy from being within the normal weight for my height. Boo!

It’s just been a month, however, and I honestly believe that I’d get the hang of things by May. Hopefully, I’d stop from losing weight then.

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I just finished my Pedia OPD/ER/Nursery rotation. I can’t believe how fast time flies. Yesterday was my last day in the nursery and it breaks my heart to leave all those cute little babies I’ve been used to seeing for the last two weeks. Taking care of sick babies is not exactly my idea of fun but babies, with their helplessness and their ignorance can kiss one’s problems away. I’d miss them!