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I just got home from the hospital. This time I didn’t extend duty hours, but I did visit my cousin who’s sick with Dengue fever. We filled her room with visitors since it happens to be my cousin-in-law’s (her husband’s) 31st birthday today. She’s doing better. Her platelets dropped to a very low 39,000 yesterday but the last time I checked her CBC results, they’re up to 60,000 already. Although she’s far from recovered, her way to recovery is coming pretty fast. If only we could make her eat and drink plenty of water, then perhaps she can go home on Saturday - just in time for our niece and nephew’s double birthday celebration on Sunday. I can’t believe how time flies. Just last year, we attended their birthday bash. I remember how Kuya Jori even went with us to the party. A year later, who would have thought the number of guests would be one person less this year? It’s almost the end of January. The upcoming months will be soon just flying past us and before I know it, I’d be relying on some sort of an anti ageing cream to keep the tell-tale signs of old-age away. How surreal.

Tomorrow, hopefully I can drop by her room to check her out despite my being on duty (my last for OB!). I’d probably sneak out late in the evening when I pick up our midnight snack from the nutrition department. Hay. This is exasperating. Life in the hospital is getting on my nerves already. I need a break - and a long good one.

I woke up this morning with the left side of my lower lip larger than my right. Turns out the canker sore I got from accidentally biting my lip a few days ago got inflamed overnight. And that was after I put some topical medication last night to soothe the pain and hopefully help it heal faster. It seems though that I’ve made it a lot worse. I can hardly eat anything or brush my teeth without getting teary-eyed. This was the first time it happened to me. Out of sheer curiosity, I looked for the medicine and realized horrors upon horrors that it was already expired. Funny how a doctor gets a dose of his own medicine - expired medicine - to be exact. No wonder it got a lot worse. So lesson learned? Always check the expiration date! Lucky for me it was only topical and the inflammation subsided a little over the rest of the morning. Tsk. I’m going over to the pharmacy when I get home tonight to buy a new one. This time, I’ll be extra cautious and would check the label to make sure it’s not expiring anytime soon. =)

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Inasmuch as I wouldn’t want to admit it, I am a fan of Pinoy soaps. In fact, I secretly follow a number of late-night Kapamilya TV series. If my schedule permits, my daily routine would usually start before TV Patrol (which is seldom the case). Nevertheless, there’s never a single day that I wouldn’t tune in to the tv set to watch - or at times listen to - the daily primetime shows. I am a true-blooded Kapamilya. I don’t switch our tv set to the rival network for two reasons: 1) their talentless talents (well, at least most of them); and 2) their horrible sounds. It’s never a problem at home since we all watch ABS-CBN, but it can be a struggle when my aunt is around when I’d sometimes catch our TV set showing an unfamiliar setting with equally nameless faces attempting to act.

It’s one of my frustrations actually. Acting that is. I abhorred my younger self for being timid now that I am old and thick-faced. I find children who can sing, dance and act at a snap of a finger very amusing. Theirs is an untarnished self-confidence and the carefree attitude that I didn’t have as a very young child. I remember that time back when I was 4 years old when I stood in front of an audience to deliver a short poem. Believe it or not, I cried right then and there with the microphone for everyone to hear my sobs. I know no one can blame me for that. After all, I was but a very shy child. But that memory of my mom sobbing by herself in one corner of the room as I stood in another corner remained etched in my memory. I have long asked myself… what if I were more “bibo” as a kid? What if I didn’t cry on stage that morning? Will my fate have been different?

Who knows?

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I am officially bankrupt. I went to the mall today after my mom asked me to pick up a few things and before I headed to do my errands, I strolled around a bit. It sucks when there’s a lot of good buys around you but you’ve got no moolah to spare. Sometimes, I think my fate’s going against me ‘coz everytime I go window shopping and I had extra money to spare for my needless luxuries, there’s nothing good on the shelf. And when I finally have the urge to buy, I find myself hanging on the edge of bankruptcy. I suddenly remember that line from ebay Philippines which I read a few years back. It was from an interview of one of the successful netrepreneurs who found her niche in ebay. She urged people to look around their homes and sell stuff they don’t need. Guess what. I tried to do that and found a handful of stuff I don’t even touch - and a lot of goodies that I have in multiple numbers. Take for example these MP3 players that I own. One is a green iPod shuffle I named “Kaiser” which I won from the FRIC raffle in November. The other is an unopened pink iPod shuffle which my mom gave me for Christmas. Funny how I used to want one and now I have two, so, I’m highly considering putting one up for auction in ebay. Well, that is if my heart’s ready to see “Kaiser” in the loving arms of another person. Yes. I am such an emotional bitch.

I didn’t realize it was already past 1 am. I don’t know what’s up with my system that I am hardly sleepy despite the exhaustion from today’s “work”. I will be dead for sure tomorrow as I encounter one patient followed by another at the OPD later. This is the first time I’ve used the word “work” to what I’m doing at the hospital. I wouldn’t want to call it that way but lately I find myself literally dragging my butt out of the house. Signs of exhaustion perhaps? Or just a case of laziness since summer break is just around the corner? God knows.

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I can’t believe I slept through Christmas Day. I knew how Christmas 2009 would be different since I am very busy with clerkship but never in my life have I thought I would someday spend this very joyous celebration tucked in bed. December 24 was a day of chaos back in East Ave. I was told Christmas Eve/Day is usually benign but the promise of a non-toxic duty went up in smokes. I knew how East Ave meant getting hardly any sleep at all but I never expected I wouldn’t get any wink at all on my last day of duty. Last duty syndrome perhaps? Inasmuch as I don’t want to believe in such, I am forced to believe I was cursed last Christmas Eve. Even if our life was a total mess, my co-duty residents and interns managed to have a fun-filled Christmas Eve celebration complete with martini and some left-over cocktail drinks which we enjoyed over sumptuous dinner (never mind if the spaghetti sauce was destroyed from overheating). What they told me was true. However toxic you are in East Ave, nothing will matter with the happy company you have.

Geez. I’m starting to miss them. =)

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